During this journey to be a minimalist, one unnecessary and detrimental habit I have discovered in my life is noise. This week I have only begun to see the noise that surrounds me. I wake up each morning with my first thoughts being, “Did I oversleep? What time is it? When is my first meeting?” As my body catches up with my brain, I begin to strategize my day: if my first meeting is at 9:00 and my second is at 11:00, then in that hour I can go to my office and email my boss’s boss’s boss about the printing charge and email my boss’s secretary about getting my assistant access to that tab on my company’s website. After my 11:00 meeting I can run back to my apartment and eat, which will make me ten minutes late for my 12:00 meeting. But then I can go back to my office and, no I don’t have time to spend half an hour discussing the place of feminism in fundamentalism because I have a student coming at 1:00 before I run to my next meeting at 2:00. During my free hour at 4:00, I can read those two chapters before my 5:00 meeting. Dinner at 6:30. Exercise at 7:30. Clean the apartment at 8:30. Pass out at 9:30. Go to bed at 10:30. Try to sleep amidst thoughts of “When is my first meeting tomorrow? Am I prepared for that meeting? Am I forgetting something that I need to finish now before I fall asleep? I need to remember to pay rent. I need to remember to buy pumpkin pie spice. I need to remember to email my mentor. Wow, does my neck hurt!” and on and on until I fall asleep close to midnight and dream about a tendon ripping through my cheek and being sewn up without anesthesia.
My goal for today was to single task. As I’m reading the two chapters in my textbook, my thoughts flurry with, “Oh yeah, make sure you email that person. Make sure you pay that check. Make sure you make it to your next meeting. Make sure you don’t forget to call that place with the mugs.” I always knew I had a flare for the dramatic, but I never knew how noisy my drama was. And that noise is deafening.
Tomorrow I want to go on a long walk in fresh air and quiet my heart down. Because my God wants me to be at rest. He tells me to come to Him and find peace.