Week 4 Day 5: I am sick and tired of people. I just want some me time. I know that’s selfish. But I am tired, and going out with people who aren’t Fishie doesn’t really help. No matter who I’m with, no matter where I go, I remember him. It’s like I have to build a new identity that doesn’t include him. And that’s hard. I’m trying to create new memories, but I’m creating them while I’m trying to push away the old ones. It doesn’t work. Sometimes there is that light that surprises me. Blake was a light. My fellow actors in Blind Date are a breath of fresh air. Being at work is a huge blessing. I need to be distracted.
Right now I have a horrible migraine, and I just want this detox to be over. I don’t think it’s really working anyway.