Week 3 Day 4: Avoid All Tangible Remembrances

Week 3 Day 4: Delete Him Out of Your Life! I did.

Today did not start out well. I woke up late and moved slowly around my apartment as if I could afford to miss the entire day of work. Some weeks that might not be far from the truth. But between class, artist series, doctor’s appointments, and makeovers, I just don’t have the time to miss work. This being the case, of course, I hadn’t prepared my breakfast, lunch, or supper ahead of time. I’m running around my kitchen, pouring potato chips in one bag, heating up cocoa wheats in the microwave, washing carrots at the sink, and stuffing eight burritos into my purse all at the same time. Inevitably, one burrito had to explode out of its casing and spill all over my floor at exactly the moment I had to leave if I wanted to get a ride to work. So that mess stayed there…on my carpet…all day. I love my life. I do.

On weeks like this week, I purposefully work as much as possible on the days that I can–like today. So I worked nine-and-a-half hours today. I know that’s not anything compared to what some people work. But as the day draws to an end, I can’t see straight, I can’t think anymore about anything except food, and my back is in a permanent up-tight arch. And there’s nothing to do but laugh. My coworker and I laughed for about ten minutes straight about I can’t even remember what. Her face was all red; I was crying. And I felt like I was a teenager again having a slumber party with my teenage girl friends talking about boys and giggling. Only Kelly and I definitely weren’t. We were probably talking about food. We tend to crave bagels and salt. And at moments like that, I really love my job.

I had rehearsal tonight as well, and all I can say about that is help! I guess I’ve spent five years in the South, but I cannot speak in a southern accent. I’m listening to the dialects online; I’m trying to practice. I am awful. Emergency dinner with Felix on Wednesday so that I can get my accent together. He said the trick has to do with the placement of the tongue and creating a smaller hole at the back of the throat for air. Well, I have a hard enough time breathing anyway. I don’t think I can handle having a smaller hole back there.

Back to today’s goal. I deleted him. He is gone. I have no more text messages, no pictures, no private messages. The only thing I kept is the collection of baseball hats he gave me when I was bald for a period of three months. I will ask him on that fateful day if he wants them back and if not, they will be trashed.

My mom is proud of me, but I don’t feel clean yet. More thoughts on that…perhaps tomorrow.


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