Week 1 Day 4: No Drunk Dialing. Well…I didn’t exactly need to worry about obeying this rule. I don’t drink. I decided to go on a mini phone fast instead. I left my phone in my purse all day and didn’t look at it at all until 4:00. That was probably a bad idea. The only thing worse than no one texting you is realizing that no one texted you, liked a Pinterest post, or sent you a Facebook notification in nine hours. At least I got off work an hour early and went to the mall in search of some gray tights to wear with my heartbreak dress. And I found some I like for less than five dollars. That is a reason to celebrate.
Tomorrow is my day set aside for mourning. Today was a subconscious preparation day–a day for nostalgia. I thought back over the last four years of my life and tried to think of the good memories, the times that I was actually circumstancially happy. The most recent one I can remember was two years ago. My senior girl friends and I produced our own theatrical production called “When Your Life Goes Offscript.” Little did I know how offscript my life would be just the next year. Today while I was listening to our dance number, I thought of the line in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s book, The House of the Seven Gables, “Our first youth is of no value; for we are never conscious of it until after it is gone.” I think my first youth is gone. I just need to work through the loneliness to get to my second. And now, please go listen to “The Lonely” by Christina Perri.